


Tomber en Panne

by HeyLittleLady



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 20 Questions, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ass Oogling, Awkward Flirting, Boys Kissing, Car Trouble, Chance Meetings, Dialogue Heavy, Explicit Language, First Meetings, Flirting, German Eren Yeager, How Do I Tag, M/M, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Strangers to Lovers, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 08:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyLittleLady/pseuds/HeyLittleLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren tries to be a Good Samaritan and attempts to help out (flirt with) Levi when his car breaks down. Nothing like a brat in pajama pants trying to get into yours to brighten up your shitty day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomber en Panne

**Author's Note:**

> Tomber en Panne. French verb. To break down (vehicular).

Eren mindlessly drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and hummed along with the radio. The drive between Trost and Shiganshina was short and mindless; 30 minutes of solid blacktop winding through farmland that he paid little attention to. 104th Highway was almost always deserted, save for the occasional roadkill that dotted the pavement. He glanced down at the speedometer, pushed minutely on the accelerator, and crested over the top of a hill. A nearing black blob in the distance gave him pause. _Is that a wreck?_ _Nah, they’re just pulled off to the side. Car trouble, maybe?_ He slowed down to double check whether the car had been abandoned or not. As he coasted closer to the opposite side of the road, Eren’s eyes took in more details. Namely a slack-clad ass bent over the popped hood of an expensive looking car.

 

_Well, fuck. **That**_ _is an ass that won’t quit. Dammit Eren, rein in your gay thoughts. You’re supposed to help this guy, not thirst after him._

 

It wasn’t entirely Eren’s fault; the butt in question was a rather nice looking butt. Round and supple, probably the perfect balance of firmness too. Jerking the wheel to the left, he turned onto the shoulder of the road and parked directly across from the man’s car. He double-checked to make sure the guy’s back was still turned before flipping down the sun visor’s mirror, hastily running his fingers through wild chocolate hair in an effort to tame it. He wanted to look decent, so sue him. Deeming it good enough, Eren got out of the car, straightened out his shirt, put on his most dazzling smile, turned to face the man and—

 

“Fuck off Four-eyes. I’ll get there when I fucking get there. Erwin can take the financial report and shove it up his ass, I honestly cannot care less.”

 

Eren stopped in his tracks. _Jesus Christ, this guy has a deep voice. Like, holy shit. And his vocabulary is very colorful._ He continued to gawk while the man continued his phone call.

 

“Look,” he rubbed a hand over his face “I have everything under control. You don’t need to drive out here and save me, you psycho. Give me five minutes and I’ll be on my way. Right. Whatever. Bye Hanji. I said _Bye_ Hanji.” He pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call with a harsher than necessary jab. He pivoted to face Eren, finally giving him a good look at his face. _Short. Oh my god he’s shorter than Armin and will probably murder me if I say that out loud._ Eren hadn’t exactly been paying attention to his height earlier. The man had black hair that glinted in the sun, narrow eyes that seemed to bore into the depths of Eren’s soul, and a bored expression rivaling that of Annie’s. He was intimidating, to say the least, and very, _very_ attractive. The sleeves of his white button-up had been rolled and the top buttons left undone, leaving his forearms and collarbones on display. And what nice forearms and collarbones they were; Eren took the chance to ponder what those arms would look like grasping at his sheets or how his collarbones would taste as he mapped them with his tongue. _So much for reining in my gay thoughts._ The raven’s voice broke him from his musing.

 

“Seriously kid? Pajama pants?” Eren glanced down at his attire and shrugged sheepishly. He’d actually forgotten what he threw on this morning.

 

“I was just dropping my sister off at her girlfriend’s. I didn’t really expect to, you know, actually have someone seeing me wearing these…..” he trailed off, scratching at the back of his neck and hoping he wasn’t blushing too bad. He ran Mikasa to Trost all the time and never bothered to change his clothes. Usually it was just a quick there-and-back trip. At least he wore the green ones that brought out his eyes today. The raven just continued to stare with arms crossed.

 

“A-anyway, I saw your car and didn’t know if you needed help or not. So, uhm… here I am!” He finished with a grin.The man heaved a sigh through his nose before leaning against the side of his car.

 

 “Battery’s dead. Unless you have jumper cables, you’re useless to me,” he deadpanned. Most people would’ve shrunk at the raven’s impassiveness and harsh words, but Eren’s smile brightened. Mikasa always made sure he was prepped in case of an emergency; of course he had jumper cables.

 

“I do, actually. Just… don’t really remember where I put them is all.” The cables were in the trunk. Stalling the man was Eren’s pitiful attempt to talk to him more and possibly sneak another look at his butt.

 

“Christ, brat, are you serious? Where the hell would put those things besides the trunk?” he scoffed.

 

“Uh, I don’t know?” Eren was rather good at faking indignance.  “They could be anywhere; last time Jean borrowed them, the horse-faced idiot left them in my glove box literally just to make me angry. And then there was that one time my best friend borrowed them and couldn’t open the trunk, so he shoved them under the driver’s seat. He’s actually, like, super smart, just lacks common sense sometimes.” By now his ears were burning red and he couldn’t stop rambling. Hopefully the man wouldn’t notice or think anything of it. The stories were partially true, just some details skewed. Like, a lot of details skewed, but he wasn’t exactly lying to him. The raven clicked his tongue and ran a hand through his hair in obvious annoyance. _Oooh, that was hot. Do it again._

“Fine, fine, whatever. Where do you want me to look?” The phrase echoed in his mind. He hadn’t thought about that.

 

“Oh, uhm, I didn’t know you were gonna help me,” Eren sputtered intelligently.

“Is there a problem with that?” He quirked a thin eyebrow “Searching an entire car goes faster with two people since you don’t have your shit together.”

 

“Ha-ha, real funny coming from the guy that didn’t even have jumper cables, asshole.” _Well fuck. That … turned out a lot sassier than I thought it was going to. Too late now._ The previous look of mild surprise on the man’s face turned into a small smirk as he pushed himself off his car.

 

“Looks like this brat’s got some bite; good to know your personality isn’t complete shit like I thought it was.” Eren didn’t have to fake his indignance now. Nice ass be damned, this stranger was really starting to get on his nerves.

 

“Wow. Although I guess it takes a shit personality to know a shit personality.” Eren definitely knew he had a problem with back-sassing people, but now wasn’t a time he would try and stop it. This guy deserved it.

 

“Don’t overthink your comebacks too much, _kid._ You might hurt yourself. Or I’ll do it for you if you don’t shut the hell up.” By now the shorter man was right in front of Eren, and he had to resist the urge to punch him in his smug looking face.

 

 “Well fuck you too,” he balled his fists at his sides. “I’m just trying to help you out. But if you’re gonna be a dick about it, I’ll just leave your sorry ass here,” he turned with a huff and strutted back to the driver side door. _Where did that even come from? Douchebag._

“Hey, wait up. Just—hold on a second, okay?” Eren paused with his hand on the door handle, took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of either whining, begging or insults he figured the stranger would supply. _Why am I even considering this,_ he pondered as he whipped back around.

 

“ _What,”_ he ground out, harsher than necessary. The man rubbed his hand over his face again, probably a habit of his.  

 

“Look, you obviously didn’t deserve that and I apologize. My day has been absolute shit, if you couldn’t tell. But I didn’t mean to take it out on you, sorry.” Eren blinked. Then blinked again. An apology was not on the list of things he was prepared for. The raven actually did look apologetic. Biting his lip, Eren directed his eyes at the ground. _I did kind of start the whole argument. Me and my short-as-hell temper._

 

“It’s fine. Really, I get it. Sorry for kind of exploding on you. I just get really defensive about stuff and yeah….” He trailed off, flicking green eyes up to meet gray. “Sorry.” Eren continued to worry his lip between teeth as the man shifted his weight. A pale hand suddenly jutted out, catching him off guard.

 

“Levi.” Eren took his hand in his own. It was… nice. Slightly calloused, but not overly rough. About the same size as his own, but the other man had thinner fingers. Not even sweaty. Eren could only hope his was the same.

 

“Eren. I’m Eren Jaeger.” They dropped the handshake as Levi looked up at him expectantly. _He has to look up at me._ Eren had never fought so hard to not crack and let out the laughter that was quickly bubbling up.

 

“So, about the jumper cables….” Whoops. He’d totally forgotten about those.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry. Uh, I guess I’ll check… the trunk and you can – um – take the backseat? Sound good?” Levi nodded at that and the two of them walked the few steps to Eren’s car. The doors were already unlocked, but the trunk had to be popped open using a lever on the driver’s side. Levi wrenched his chosen door open and begin to rifle under the seats, while Eren made quick work of opening the trunk and going to ‘look’ inside it. Instead, he got distracted by the sight of Levi bent over. _Maria, Rose and Sina it’s even better up close. Bless whatever higher power let me see this today._ He was full blown, unabashedly staring at his ass now, bottom lip back between his teeth in concentration.

 

“Brat, you really need to vacuum, it’s fucking disgusting under these – “ Levi stopped when he caught a look at Eren, who quickly turned to sort through the trunk with burning cheeks and ears, refusing to meet the piercing gray eyes that were scrutinizing him.

 

“Were you just staring at my ass?”

 

“W-what!? No, I was _not_ , I-I would never!” Levi didn’t buy it for a second.  

 

“You totally were.” If anything, he looked amused, which only embarrassed Eren more. He scrambled for a way get out of the awkward situation, looking for anything to stop him from curling up and dying on the spot. _Jumper cables, right, that’ll work._

 

“Look, I found the cables!” he raised said bundle over his head in forced triumph, a futile attempt at trying to work his way past his humiliation. “Now we don’t have to look anymore, we can fix your car, and you can be on your way!”

 

“Right…” Levi drawled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get rid of me.”  And then he chuckled. Fucking _chuckled;_ a dark, rich noise that would have shot straight to Eren’s dick if he wasn’t so mortified. “C’mon brat, help me jump my car.” They made quick work of opening Eren’s hood and properly connecting everything to both sides. Now, with both of them back at their respective cars, Eren sat in his seat behind the wheel with a significantly less red face, waiting for Levi to finish his last minute adjustments.

 

“Levi? Are you ready yet?”

 

“Hang on a sec, let me—there. Go.” Eren turned the key and his engine roared to life. He watched as the other man clambered into his own car, both waiting for the battery to gain enough juice to start. A minute passed. Then another. And another.

 

“Hey,” Eren had to lean out his window to be heard over the noise, “have you started it up yet?”

 

“No, I’m just sitting in my car enjoying the weather,” Levi deadpanned, craning out his own window to look at Eren. “Of fucking course I’ve tried. Three times. Give it a few and I’ll try again.” Who knew so much sass could be contained in one person? They sat in a continued awkward silence; silent save for the dull sounds of Eren’s motor continuing to run. The brunet’s mind began to wander off as time dragged on.

 

“Mother _fucker._ ” That got his attention. “Cut the engine, kid.” He shut it off and scrambled out the door, nearly face planting into the asphalt in his rush.

 

“What happened?” Levi was savagely removing the cables from his battery, ripping both clamps off and tossing the cord behind him.

 

“Hell if I know,” he spat, slamming the hood shut hard enough to make Eren wince. “Damn engine still won’t turn over. Now I’ll have to call some shitty tow truck to come get this piece of shit.” True to his word, he stalked off to do just that. Eren watched him stomp away before turning to his own car, beginning to put away the cables the other man had thrown to the ground in his frustration. Snatches of the phone call drifted in and out as he worked.

 

“… Yeah, 104th highway, Trost bound…..”

 

“Not far, maybe only twenty…..”

 

“…that’s really the soonest you can….”

 

“ –anks, you too. Bye.” Levi’s aggravation had mostly disappeared throughout the phone call. He ducked back into his car to put his phone back in its rightful place. “Tow truck said it’ll be here in 40 minutes at the earliest. Thanks for your help brat, I appreciate—” He’d pushed his head up out of the doorframe, only to be greeted by the sight of Eren resting comfortably on the hood of the car opposite him.

 

“– it…” The boy shrugged.

 

“No problem.”

 

 Levi continued to stare with a slight scowl on his face. “Why the fuck are you still here?”

 

 Eren gasped and clawed at his heart dramatically. “You wound me, Levi,” he dropped the act. “I dunno, figured you could use the company since you have to sit here for like, an hour. And I have nothing better to do, anyways.”

 

“Oh, joy. Babysitting for an hour. How fun,” the raven mocked, but he didn’t make any move to chase the boy off. Levi had decided to recline on his hood too. Eren had a point; if they were gonna sit here, might as well get comfortable. Meanwhile, the brunet was busy honest-to-god pouting on top of his own car, brow furrowed and lip jutted out like an actual child.   He muttered something unintelligible.

 

“You’re gonna have to speak up, kid. Use your words like a big boy.”

 

 “I said I’m 20!” he blurted, knees curled tight to his chest. “Technically, I’m a legal adult who definitely doesn’t need babysitting. So can you stop calling me kid?”

 

“Alright, little shit it is then.” Said little shit’s jaw dropped.

 

“You ass, that’s no better!” Levi let out a puff of air through his nose, something that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Eren was going to count it as a laugh. “You don’t even look that much older than I am; you can’t call me a kid.”

 

“Hoh?” he quirked a thin eyebrow “And how old do I look?”

_Old enough to bang._

 

“Old enough to—” _Fuck, fuck, abort, I almost said that out loud._ He coughed in an effort to mask the mistake“ – to drink, at least. Uhh, 25 max.” _Nice save, Jaeger._

 

 “I’m 42.” He sat back and watched as the younger man sucked in a large gasp of air and proceeded to choke on it. A smirk plastered the shorter man’s face as Eren continued to sputter.

 

“Christ, are you serious?” he managed to spit out, still catching his breath. Levi crossed his arms behind his head.

 

“Nah, just fucking with ya. I’m only 29.” Green eyes narrowed at the cocky expression the raven was wearing.

 

“You’re hilarious.” A comfortable silence descended between the two. Levi tilted his head back to watch the clouds drifting overhead, eyes slowly dragging shut as he relaxed. Eren opted to watch Levi instead of his surroundings. Besides, the man before him was far more interesting anyway. Like the way the pale column of his neck was now exposed to the air, Adam’s apple bobbing whenever he swallowed. Or how the breeze would occasionally muss the longer strands in his undercut, causing them to brush over the relaxed contours of his face. Or the thin lips that Eren really, _really_ wanted to taste against his own. Those same lips jerked upwards at one corner.

 

“Stop your staring, brat,” he murmured. Eren could feel his face heat up; by now it was bound to be tomato red. Levi’s eyes had stayed closed the entire time, so what he didn’t know for sure couldn’t hurt him.

 

“‘M not staring at you,” he retorted, continuing to stare. He had to commit this image to memory before the older man moved; otherwise the sight would be lost forever. His gaze flicked off into the open pasture as a pale eyelid slipped open to reveal a solitary stormy eye.

 

“I could feel your eyes on me.” He noted that Eren’s eyes were now pointedly looking anywhere but at him.

 

“Could not!” the younger man denied in a nervous rush.  “A-anyways, how’d you get stuck out here in the first place?” The raven sighed and righted himself, both eyes now open.

 

“This monumental piece of shit,” he patted the hood beneath him, “gave out on me in the middle of driving. Pulled it off to the side to see what’s up, but nothing stood out when I checked the engine. I’ll bet my ass it’s the alternator though; nothing else could simultaneously fuck up while driving and when trying to jump it. Called work to tell them I’d be late, had to convince my psycho co-worker that I’d be fine, when lo and behold, you show up. My knight in shining pajama pants.” Eren was rolling on top of his hood, doubled over as peals of laughter echoed off of him.

 

“Knight in—” he broke off, still in the middle of giggling, “—shining pajama pants! That is gold, Levi. Gold.” He paused to wipe away a tear that threatened to escape “Ya know, I think this is the most I’ve heard you talk all day.”

 

 “Tch, I’m talkative.” Eren rolled his eyes at that.

 

“Pffftttt, no way,” he slid off the hood and plopped on the ground, gazing up at the other man, “you’re more of the strong silent type.” _Which is definitely my type_.

 

“Wow, no one’s ever told me that before. Now get your ass off the ground, it’s filthy.” Eren stuck out his tongue, but moved to stand and lean against the bumper.

 

“So,” he drawled after a moment of silence, “if you’re so talkative, we should play 20 questions!”

 

“No.” The words had barely left Eren’s mouth before Levi threw them back in his face.

 

“Leeevvviiiii. C’mon!” And cue the whining. Eren had an infallible plan to get Levi to play. Step 1 was a go.

 

“You sound like Hanji. No.” Another swift refusal, but that was to be expected. Now for step 2: the pout. Bottom lip out and eyebrows furrowed, he tried for another approach.

 

“But why not?”

 

“Sorry I’d rather not be interrogated.” Most would have broken by now, but Levi was standing strong. Time to bust out his secret weapon; Step 3: puppy dog eyes. If this doesn’t work, Eren didn’t know what would. He shut his eyes, mustering up as much emotion as he could put into his emerald orbs before speaking.

 

“Please, Levi.” The words left his mouth in a whisper as he locked green eyes with gray. He could _feel_ Levi’s resolve crumbling, tough exterior breaking apart the longer he stared. Just a little bit more and he’d be putty in his hands. A few more seconds and the silver stare was yanked away with a huff.

 

“Fuck, fine!” He tossed his hands into the air “I’ll fucking play 20 questions! Just,” he waved a hand at Eren’s face, “turn those damn eyes off. It’s creepy as hell.” Despite his protests, the faintest pink colored his face. _He’s blushing he’s blushing he’sblushingh’sbuslhing oh my go d I got him to blush._ The victory dance that followed was caused by this newfound fact instead of the actual victory, but Levi didn’t need to know that. A few bouts of raising the roof later and Eren was ready to start the questioning, complete with a newfound confidence and cocky grin.

 

“Okay, I got it. Question 1: where does the infamous Levi work?”

 

“That’s all you got? Survey Corporations, finances department. Mostly punching numbers and pushing papers with my shitty coworkers. Question 1: assuming you’re in college, what’re you studying?”

 

“Easy. Wall Rose University, history major.” Levi raised a skeptical eyebrow.

 

“Never pegged you as a history buff. More like some hippie art student.”  

 

“Haha, no. My art sucks ass. I can barely do stick figures. But I’m pretty good with history. World War I is my specialty. Alrighty, question 2: favorite color?”

 

“How original,” he snarked, “it’s black. If you’re gonna make me play this game, at least keep it entertaining. Question 2: piercings. You have any?”

 

“I—uh, well…“ Eren seemed to recede into himself, worrying his lip between teeth. Levi’s curiosity was piqued; what was so bad that it made the kid flustered at the mere mention of it? “Y-yeah. Y’see I got—fuck,” he swallowed. “I lost a bet and had to get my nipples pierced. So, I—I did.”

 

“That’s it?” Levi was unimpressed. Honestly, he expected worse.

 

“The hell you mean ‘that’s it’?! How many piercings do you have?”

 

“I’ll take that as your third question. 4, as of now. It was 5, but one of them closed up a few years ago and I haven’t bothered to re-pierce it.” Eren looked at him expectantly. “What?” Levi questioned.

 

“Aren’t you going to tell me what they are?” he prompted. “I told you mine, it’s only fair you tell me yours.” A signature smirk graced Levi’s face.

 

“Yeah, but you only asked how many piercings I have, not where they are. If you want to know, better ask next time.”

 

“Smartass.” Making him use up multiple of his questions sucked, but if he wanted the other man to play, he couldn’t complain.

 

“Now, question 3: barbells or rings?”

 

“What?” To say Eren was confused was an understatement. Levi just glared as if the question was obvious.

 

“Your nips, idiot. Do you have bars or rings? Or did you just let ‘em close out of shame?” he prompted.

 

“Pfft, no. I had to go through the pain of getting ‘em done, of course I was gonna keep them. But, uhm, bars. I have bars.” Eren ended the phrase by lifting his shirt to reveal his chest. Levi craned forward to scrutinize the piercings, but his eyes soon wandered up and down the rest of his torso.

 

“Don’t really know why you had to show me them,” the raven leaned back, resuming his previous position perched on the front of his hood. “But not bad,” he finished with a murmur. _Wait, was he referring to the piercings or me?_ Regardless, Eren felt his ears turning pink, his face likely following suit, a litany of ‘ _piercings or me?’_ currently running circles around his brain. Shaking his head in an effort to clear it, he realized he’d been staring at Levi for a solid minute. _Shit. Play it off Eren._

 

“T-thanks, I guess. Anyways, fourth question…I think? Kinda lost track. Whoops. You already know what I wanna know.” And cue the nervous rambling.

 

“Fair enough. Eyebrow.” He pointed to his left eyebrow, which distinctly lacked any jewelry. “Gotta take it out for work. Professionalism and shit. Industrial bar.” He pointed to the right ear this time. “Same goes for it. I used to have snakebites once upon a time, but lip piercings close up pretty fast. Decided I didn’t miss them that much and got this instead,” he promptly stuck out his tongue, revealing the small black top of a barbell in the center. _Don’t you fucking dare think about all the amazing things that tongue could do. Stop right now before you pop a boner over a piece of metal._ Said piece of metal had disappeared back inside Levi’s mouth as he continued talking.

 

“It’s not noticeable, so I can get away with it at work. I also have a dick piercing, but you’re not seeing that.” And there went the air from Eren’s lungs. All the blood in his body was fighting between rushing to his face or down south. His poor bottom lip was about to be chewed off between merciless teeth.

 

“Y-you’re serious?” _No fucking way is this guy real. No one can be this perfect. He’s like a walking sex god._

 

“It’s a frenum, if you have any idea what that means,” he shrugged, nonchalant. Eren knew oh too well what type of piercing that was. His face was a blushing mess; he’d never been this turned on and mortified at the same time. _Somebody please shoot me. I’ve lived a good 20 years, that’s long enough. Tell Mikasa and Armin I love them._

His clouded brain and malfunctioning body only managed to supply a gasped, “Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“W-well, that’s,” he swallowed “I uh, cool, i-interesting, uhm….” Levi pointed an accusatory finger in his direction.

 

“Hey, you wanted to know, you can deal with the consequences.” _I DIDN’T THINK THESE CONSEQUENCES WOULD INCLUDE FIGHTING OFF A HARD ON AND HUMILIATION. Okay Eren, calm down. You want Levi to like you, and freaking out about his dick isn’t going to make that happen. Deep breath in, deep breath out._ Now significantly calmer, Eren was able to reply.

 

“Yeah, y-yeah you’re right.  I wanted to know. It was just,” he absentmindedly scratched at the back of his still slightly pink neck, “really, _really_ surprising.”

 

“Surprising seems to be putting it mildly. Watching your spaz attack was awkward, to say the least,” Levi was busy focusing his attention on picking at his cuticles. Eren cleared his throat.

 

“Y’know, it’s your turn to ask me a question.” The raven raised his gaze and hummed.

 

“Right. Tattoos?”

 

“Nope,” he popped the p for emphasis “I’ve always wanted to get one, but my sister would probably murder me if I did.” Okay, Mikasa wouldn’t kill him, but would still probably be against the idea. Maybe. Eren had never actually mentioned it to her. “What about you?”

 

“Just one on my left shoulder blade. Couple of my friends and I got ‘em done when we were, what, 19? Rebellious phase or some shit. It’s German for freedom.”

 

“Freiheit.” Levi actually seemed slightly surprised he knew, so Eren clarified, “My mom was German. I learned some from her.” If the other man took notice of the past tense used, he didn’t comment, just nodded. It was nice that he didn’t press or fake sympathy like most people. It’d been a few years since she died, but Eren still missed her. As if sensing the melancholy mood descending, Levi changed the topic.

 

“Alright, I gotta pretty good one. Celebrity you’d most want to fuck.” The brunet simply laughed.

 

“Christ, could you get any more blunt? But uhm,” his blush resumed its previous residence sprinkled across tanned cheeks, “Probably…. Colin O’Donoghue….” The raven cocked a narrow brow.

 

“I didn’t know you were into guys.” Eren tossed jazz hands into the air beside his head.

 

“Surprise.”

 

“But Captain Hook? Really?”

 

“First of all, fuck off, he’s hot. I like the dark and mysterious thing he’s got going on. You’ve seen Once Upon a Time?” Levi reached up to rub at the bridge of his nose.

 

“Hanji blackmailed me into marathoning every. Single. Episode with her. She’s a fucking maniac.”

 

“She sounds.... interesting, that’s for sure. Alright, same question back atcha’: who’d you do?” He laughed, “Hey that rhymed.” Levi took a minute to answer, seemingly contemplating his choices before taking a breath.

 

“Jensen Ackles. I’d do him six ways to Sunday. Or he could do me, I’m not picky.” It took a few seconds for the words to sink in, but when they did, they hit hard.

_what. What. WHAT. Error 404: Brain not found. This is not happening. This gloriously attractive man with the best motherfucking ass I’ve seen in years just so happens to be gay too? Is this some sort of cruel joke? Does Jesus hate me that much? No, no, no. Chill Eren. Just wait a second, he’ll probably admit he was joking, and then you both can laugh it off while you scream internally. Fuck, fuck,_ fuck, _what if this turns out li-_

 

Pale fingers snapped in front of his face, jolting Eren out of the downward spiral of his mind.

 

“Fucking finally. You were staring at me all wide-eyed long enough to creep the shit out of me.”

 

“I-I,” damn, did he really do that? Eren had hoped his body would have the common sense to not broadcast his inner monologue across his face, but no such luck. “Sorry, I just…. You’re not joking?” Levi’s normally impassive face softened.

 

“No kid, not joking. I’m not that much of an asshole.”  A silence followed, both of them wrapped up in their thoughts for the moment. The distant sound of tires on asphalt caused the two to simultaneously peer down the road. A lone car was steadily approaching where they sat perched on the edge of the highway.

 

Eren was the first to speak. “Huh. It’s been, what,” he glanced over at the other man, “30 minutes since I got here? That’s the first time I’ve seen another car all day.” What turned out to be a minivan sped past them, wind furiously whipping brown and black hair into their faces. Levi raised a middle finger salute to car’s back window as it continued down the road.

 

“Asshat didn’t even slow down.” His mouth was set in a thin line, face making the situation seem far more serious than it actually was. The brunet took one look at the raven from the corner of his eye and burst into laughter. Levi looked less than amused. “What’s so funny, brat?” So, it was back to name calling all over again. Two could play at this game, though. Eren met his eyes with a defiant stare and a cocky smirk.

 

“Not much, old man. Just your face.” It was a clichéd retort, but whatever. Levi turned to fully face him.

 

“That’s the best you could do? Your insults are so basic they make you seem more childish than you already are.” Ooh, good one. It’d be tough to come up with a better insult, but Eren had one on the tip of his tongue since he met Levi.

 

“Oh,” he scoffed “I’m childish? With your height, I’d think you’d be the one mistaken for the brat, shorty.” _Eren: 1, Levi: 0._ Levi’s eyes narrowed.

 

“I’ll give you 3 seconds to run.”

Eren pivoted with a laugh, not taking the threat seriously despite the look on Levi’s face. He turned his head to call out a teasing “Okay, tough guy,” before skipping off down the road. Even if the other man followed through on his warning, Eren was a pretty good runner.

 

He only made it a few feet away when Levi called out, “Times up, brat.” The brunet whipped around to face him as the vicious pounding of feet reached his ears. Levi was fucking _fast_ and quickly eating up what meager space was between them. Eren shrieked—a very manly shriek, mind you—and took off, the other man hot on his heels. He zigzagged back and forth, eventually turning to run back towards the cars, but Levi refused to be shaken. No matter how fast Eren ran or in what direction he turned, the other man was always only a few feet behind him. Despite claiming to be a “pretty good runner,” Eren lacked endurance. Then again, sprinting for your life for a few solid minutes as a short, murderous, and very attractive man hunted you down would wear anyone out.

 

He gave one last burst of speed before puffing out “Le—uh—vi… Jesus, I give… surrender…” The raven either didn’t hear or didn’t care as he nearly barreled into Eren, using his momentum to grab his arm, twist it behind his back, and none-too-gently push him over the hood over Eren’s car. He hit the surface with a muted _Unf._

 

“Um, ow. I get it, I get it. Let me up already,” Eren huffed, one cheek digging into the cool metal as he squirmed to free himself from the hold. Levi was pressed against him, using his body weight to pin Eren down.

 

He leaned over to breathe lowly into the trapped boy’s ear, “Oh?” Eren had gone still beneath him, freezing up at the feel of Levi’s warm breath fanning over his face. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet.” Green eyes widened further, darting up to meet gray before shyly glancing downwards as he sucked in a breath, acutely aware of how close they were. Blush spread across tan cheekbones while Eren’s bottom lip returned between his teeth.

 

“L-Levi, I uh…” he meekly stuttered. It was silent for a moment before Levi seemed to suddenly realize how close he was to Eren. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before dropped Eren’s arm and retreated a few steps back.

 

“Shit, I—you okay?” _I am way more than okay at the moment. That is definitely getting filed away as masturbation fodder…_

 

Eren pushed himself off the hood, rolling his shoulder to relieve stiffness as he turned. “I-It’s fine!” he exclaimed “I’m good! We’re cool! Just uh, just…” Eren trailed off, suddenly finding a pebble on the asphalt that was very interesting. “…Seriously, it’s okay…” He refused to meet the other man’s eyes. His face felt hot. _I probably look like an idiot right now._ Deciding to take a risk, Eren hurriedly peeked at Levi through his lashes and had to do a double take.

 

Levi was staring at him, an unreadable expression plastered on his face. After Eren shot him a questioning look, he cleared his throat and turned the other way, almost seeming embarrassed at being caught looking. Levi preoccupied himself by shoving his hands in his slacks’ pockets while Eren nudged a rock around with the toe of his shoe. _This isn’t awkward at all._

 

“How’re you so fucking fast?” he blurted, the question catching Levi off guard.

 

“Oh, I—uh—ran track and cross-country in high school. College too,” he paused to rub at the back of his neck, “Got in a lot of fights, which explains the arm twisting.” His arm dropped to his side, eyes darting back and forth between Eren and a spot somewhere over his shoulder. “Look, I overreacted and-”

 

“Dude, it’s—” Eren tried to interject, but Levi was having none of it.

 

“Shut up for a second, will you? I crossed a line, and I’m fucking sorry. I feel like a massive asshole.”

 

It wasn’t like Eren needed or even really wanted an apology, but Levi’s sincerity was... nice. _He looks cute when he’s all well-meaning. He’d probably also castrate me if I said that out loud._

 

“Well, you’re already an asshole so….” Eren grinned at the other man. Levi simply flipped him off.

 

“You are never getting an apology from me again, shit-stain.”

 

“Pfft, like I’d even want one from you,” he paused to think for a second, “And it’s your turn to ask me a question.”

 

“Fuck, I thought we were done with the interrogating.” Eren pointed an accusatory finger at him.

 

 “Hey, you were having fun. Now c’mon, gimme a question.” Levi rolled his eyes before pointedly looking over at Eren.

 

“It’s not my turn.”

 

“Uh, yeah. It is. You admitted to wanting to bang Jensen Ackles. Your turn.”

 

“Fine, whatever, give me a minute,” he turned to go sit back down on his car hood. “I can’t just pull these out of my ass, you know.” Eren snorted at that and moved to follow Levi. He paused—he could go sit back on his own hood a comfortable distance away from the raven…. Or he could take a risk and sit down next to him. Eren bit his lip as he quickly ran the pros and cons of each choice in his head. Praying that his balls would stay safely attached to his body, he slowly lowered himself to sit next to Levi. Gray irises glanced at him from the corners of his eyes, but when the other man didn’t say anything about their newfound proximity, Eren relaxed out of his stiff posture. Levi heaved a sigh before tipping his head back, gazing at the clouds overhead.

 

“Any weird talents?” Eren hummed and mimicked the other man’s posture, trying to think of something passable. _I can binge-watch Netflix for 12 hours straight, but that’s not exactly something you want to brag about._ He sat up as an idea struck him.

 

“Ok, so I used to take dance classes when I was younger, but I’ve always been like, weirdly flexible.” Levi righted himself, fixing Eren with a challenging look.

 

 “Prove it then.”

 

Never one to back down from a dare, Eren rose from his perch on the hood and walked a few steps away. Stretching his arms to the sky, he promptly bent down, folding himself in half with his ass in the air while his arms pulled his body closer, hugging his knees.

 

“You weren’t kidding.” He couldn’t see Levi’s face, but he at least sounded a little—though begrudgingly—impressed. Eren waited a few seconds before easing out of his position and standing up straight.  

 

“Nope,” he said, confidant smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, “Watch this.” And with that, Eren slowly began to lower himself into the middle splits, shoes scrapping against the asphalt as he descended. It took a few seconds and some awkward foot shuffling, but finally he came to fully rest against the ground. He shifted his weight forward, propping his head on his elbows as he grinned up at the man, “Ta-da.”

 

Levi looked at him for a few seconds before leaning forward, an almost predatory look on his face. His tongue darted out to run languidly along the swell of his bottom lip, Eren following the movement with his eyes until it slipped back into Levi’s mouth.

 

 “Hoh?” he began, “Impressive.”

 

Eren swallowed hard.  “T-thanks, I guess.” The raven cocked his head, smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. His gaze had almost seemed to intensify, turning all the more wolfish the longer he looked.

 

“I bet that comes in handy for certain…. Activities…..” Levi drawled. Eren’s eyes widened before dropping into a half-lidded stare.

 

“Wanna find out?”

 

The words weren’t exactly meant to come out Eren’s mouth, they just kind of… did. But with the way Levi’s gaze had him currently pinned in place, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Levi looked like he wanted to _devour_ Eren, take him apart piece by aching piece until he was nothing but a shivering, hypersensitive mess. God, how he wanted that.

 

Levi leaned in closer, mouth open to speak when something just over Eren’s shoulder caught his eye. His face twisted into a sneer, muttering something about a “goddamn cock block,” before turning back to Eren with a resigned sigh.

 

“Looks like my ride’s here. C’mon brat, get your ass off the ground,” he reached out a hand to help him up. After standing, Eren dusted off his pajama pants and watched a tow truck come barreling down the hill towards them. It slowed to a stop and pulled in behind Levi’s car, _Zacharias’ Towing and Recovery_ scrawled across the door of the cab. Levi strolled over to it, Eren trailing uncertainly behind him as a tall man unfolded himself from the driver’s seat. The stranger had a scruffy beard, parted dirty blond hair, and was currently starting a conversation with Levi. Although he couldn’t really hear what they were saying from where he stood off to the side, it was pretty clear they knew each other. After talking for a few minutes, the man bent down to whisper something to Levi, laughing good-naturedly when the raven scowled and punched him in the arm.

 

Levi directed his attention back at Eren. “This colossal shit is Mike Zacharias. He owns the towing company. Mike, Eren, Eren, Mike.” He glared at Mike. “There’s your damn introduction, you fuck. Happy?”

 

“Extremely.” The tall man strode over, shook Eren’s hand with a lazy smile and a “nice to meet you,” leaned over, and proceeded to… sniff him? Mike, seemingly satisfied, began the process of inspecting Levi’s car.

 

“Did….did he really just…. _smell_ me?” He whispered, mostly to himself.

 

“Yeah, freaky bastard does that. Claims it lets him know people better, but his wife says he’s full of shit,” Levi commented, eying the man as he scrutinized under the hood of the car. Eren buried his nose into the collar of his t-shirt and inhaled.

 

 “I don’t think I really smell like anything. Maybe laundry detergent.”

 

“Herb and mint with oaky undertones. And yes, also slightly like laundry detergent,” Mike called from over his shoulder, “Levi smells like citrus and pine if you were wondering.” Yes, he had very much been wondering, and the newly divulged information made Eren blush.

 

“Oi, don’t drag me into your weird fetish.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now come gimme a hand with this.”

 

Levi traipsed back over to his car, once again leaving Eren standing awkwardly off to the side. The two men discussed probable causes of the engine failure for a bit—the details of which Eren couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to. Cars weren’t exactly his forte.  From what he understood, it looked like it probably was the alternator like Levi had suspected, but Mike couldn’t be positive until they took it back to the shop. Mike shut the hood with a muffled thump and moved to begin hooking up various chains to the underside of Levi’s car. Levi elected to return to Eren’s side as he supervised Mike’s progress in silence. Meanwhile, the younger man was busy giving himself a pep talk.

_C’mon Jaeger, you need to say something. Are you just gonna let him slip away like this?_ No, he wasn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t just sit back and watch Levi get in that truck and drive out of Eren’s life. Even if it backfired horrendously—and knowing himself, Eren figured it probably would—he’d rather try and fail than do nothing at all. Resolve sufficiently steeled, he put his plan into action.

 

“Hey Levi,” Eren paused, waiting for the other man to respond.

 

“Hey Eren,” Levi mocked, a smirk playing on his lips. Eren rolled his eyes and reached out playfully shove him with a laugh.

 

 “I never got to ask you my last question, you jerk,” he continued.

 

“Which would be…?” Levi inquired, raising a thin eyebrow. Eren swallowed and glanced away for a second as his left hand rummaged in his pajama pocket, his right raising to scratch bashfully at the back of his neck. He closed his fingers around the object he was searching for, the solidity of it encouraging him to force the words off of his tongue.

 

“Can I have your number?”

 

Levi stared at him for a few tense, long moments—moments that had Eren suddenly regretting ever speaking up—before suddenly huffing out a short laugh.

 

“I _suppose_ I do owe you lunch for sitting out in the middle of fucking nowhere with me for so long,” he replied, faking nonchalance. The answer sounded too good to be true, and Eren felt obligated to double-check just to be sure he hadn’t misunderstood what Levi said.

 

“So…Is that a yes?”

 

“Yes, that’s a yes, you little shit. Now give me your phone,” he responded, holding his hand out expectantly. Eren hurriedly fished his phone out, nearly dropping it in his haste to unlock it and hand it over. Levi quickly entered in his number and texted himself, ensuring he’d have Eren’s number as well.

 

Mike sauntered over to where the other two men stood, absentmindedly wiping his hands on a grease rag, “Car’s ready to go whenever you are.” He looked up in time to see Levi returning Eren’s phone, causing him to smile teasingly. “Well, what do we have here? You finally ask him for his number, Levi?” Said man shot Mike a warning glare, but he continued talking unperturbed. “What did you call him again? A “cutie with the prettiest fucking eyes you’d ever seen?” Was that it?”

 

As soon as the words were out of Mike’s mouth, Levi launched himself at him, repeatedly kicking him in the side. Every hit he landed was punctuated with profanities like “big ass tree,” “loose-lipped piece of giant shit,” and “can’t trust you with anything, you fucking grease monkey.” Eren was too busy laughing—still blushing from the earlier compliment—as Mike was forced to take refuge in his truck once again.

 

“Jesus, I give, I give. Enough already,” the mechanic cried from his perch in the relative safety of the cab. Levi flipped him off as he stalked back to Eren, grumbling under his breath. He fixed Mike’s tow truck with a half-hearted scowl as Eren’s laughter died down.

 

“Soooo…” the younger man began, wiggling his eyebrows, “I’m a cutie now, huh?” Levi sucked his teeth.

 

“You’re still a brat, though,” he countered. Eren pouted back, the expression on his face making Levi chuckle fondly. Once his quiet bout of laughter died down, he glanced back towards the truck before sighing, sounding slightly annoyed. 

 

“Mike’s gonna give me hell for this…”

 

“Give you hell for—” The words died on Eren’s lips as a cool hand suddenly threaded around the back of his neck, gently pulling him downward. “Oh,” was all he had time to breathe out before Levi’s lips were on his. The kiss was soft and languid; Levi’s lips were so much plusher than he’d expected as they pushed against his own. Levi made to pull away—entirely too soon for Eren’s liking. In retaliation, he wound his arms around Levi’s waist and chased his lips with his own.  Relenting, Levi returned Eren’s fervent kiss, lightly nipping at his lips with poorly concealed ardor. He stepped out of Eren’s hold after a few more moments, smirking at the dazed look on the other man’s face.

 

“See you around, Eren,” Levi said with a wave of his hand, almost seeming to strut back towards the truck.

 

It took a few seconds for Eren’s brain to start working again, letting him stutter out a breathless “Bye, Levi,” before the raven had gone too far. He added an excited “I—I’ll call you!” as Levi mounted the cab.

 

“I’ll hold you to it,” he called before shutting the door. Mike started up the truck, and Eren watched as he undoubtedly began to interrogate Levi while pulling out onto the highway. It wasn’t until they had finally disappeared over the hill that he finally snapped out of his reverie and walked back to his car.

 

After plopping down on the leather seat, Eren pulled his phone from his pocket and unlocked it. He smiled down at the new contact, but instead punched in a different number and brought it to his ear. As it rang, he replayed the kiss in his head, grinning to himself at the memory of Levi’s lips on his. Finally the other line picked up.

 

“Hey Eren, what’s up?”

 

“Holy shit, Armin. You’ll never guess what happened.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Hi, Hello ^^ Thank you for reading! After spending 2 1/2 years obsessing over these dorks, I figured it was about time I wrote about them


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